General Hospital

General Hospital Spoiler: THE WEEK OF MAY 13, 2024

What is going on in Port Charles? Did Casey the alien return with some pods? Laura is convinced that Heather is no longer a threat to society, but is Heather really “cured” or is she playing everyone? Anna and Jason ramp up their investigation into Pikeman, but will Carly put everyone in danger? Let’s dive in with this week’s Two Scoops of truth and consequences.

I love General Hospital. I have been a loyal viewer for most of my life because they’ve always had incredibly talented actors, wonderfully complex characters, and some of the most fascinating storylines that have run the gamut from heartbreaking loss to world domination. There was even a monkey with a deadly virus. I have stuck with the show during its many highs and a few lows (looking at you Brian Frons), so I’m definitely not a fair weather fan.

Lately, it has felt as if we’ve hit bump because the some of my favorite characters aren’t just jumping sharks; they are leaping over entire pods of angy killer whales.

At the very top of the list is Laura, who has decided that Heather deserves some grace because of a bad case of metallosis, which might have turned Heather homicidal. According to Laura, now that Heather is cured of cobalt poisoning, Heather is just a grieving mother who regrets the horrific things she’s done over the last couple of decades. Laura believes that the poisoning means that Heather wasn’t legally responsible for her actions.

I find this storyline to be as offensive as Franco’s brain tumor defense. Have the writers learned nothing from that trainwreck? Apparently not because they seem to be forging ahead with this nonsense despite an almost universal panning of this storyline online. No one wants Heather cured because she’s a supervillain. That’s her role on the show, and she’s really good at it.

I was horrified by what the previous writers did to my beloved Laura over the past year or so by making her an Amnesia-Esme apologist, so I was so hopeful that the new scribes would fix things by having Laura come to her senses. Instead, they appear to have leaned into, and she’s now defending Heather. Not just that, but she’s actively trying to help her, which is crazy to me given all that Heather has done not just in the last 20 years since her hip replacement, but long before that.

Why isn’t Laura defending her own son with the same vigor that she is Heather? There were certainly extenuating circumstances that had led to Nikolas holding Esme captive at Wyndemere. Was it wrong? Yes, but Nikolas genuinely believed that Esme was the Hook killer, and she’d already proven herself to be an insidious master manipulator who could easily vanish if necessary. That was not an option since she was pregnant with his child. He also didn’t trust her not to harm their unborn child, and his fears were proven right when she set fire to her room and took a swan dive off the parapet.

I don’t think any court — especially one in soap opera land — would have found him guilty, especially given Esme’s last stand in Paris that led to his eldest son’s tragic death. Instead, Laura has happily adopted Ace and seems content to let Nikolas languish in jail, while she works to help Heather get a second lease on life, so she can have a relationship with Ace. That is just not the Laura I’ve known and loved for longer than my own children have been alive.

I barely recognize the woman that Laura is these days, and I find myself not liking her very much. Even though I didn’t agree with Laura’s charitable view of Amnesia-Esme, I understood that it was motivated by a desire to keep a watchful eye on Ace. But Laura’s mission to help Heather is utterly nonsensical. Laura and Heather were never close. Just the opposite because Heather spent decades terrorizing people that Laura cared about.

We learned during the episode on March 04, that Heather’s hip replacement took place in 2004 after she crashed into a “mogul” on the ski slopes. In April 2004, Heather murdered Ross Duncan and framed Skye Quartermaine for the deed. She also brained Luke, drugged Skye, and committed a slew of felonies during that crime spree. Even if Heather had had her hip replacement on the first day in January that year, it wouldn’t have been enough time for the metal to deteriorate, leech into Heather’s blood stream, and drive her to murder and mayhem. Those impulses were there long before 2004. Kevin can paint Heather’s dastardly crimes prior to the cobalt poisoning as “transgressions,” but those of us who’ve been watching Heather since those early days know that it was so much more than that.

Heather sold her firstborn son Steven Lars on the black market and told Jeff that the baby had died. Later, she tried to get Steven Lars back by insinuating herself into his adoptive parents’ household as the new nanny and drugging Diana Taylor’s drink with LSD. Heather ended up accidentally ingesting the laced beverage, which unleashed the monster inside her. A few years later she tried to kill Diana, but Heather’s mother ­ Alice Grant ­ in a bid to protect Heather fired the deadly shot. Heather decided to frame Annie Logan for the crime.

That was only the beginning of Heather’s reign of terror. Not only did she sell one of her cousin’s twin sons — without Susan even knowing that she’d given birth to twins — but she also sold her second born son to the same woman. Betsy Frank had no business caring for a plant let alone raising two young boys. It’s ridiculous for Laura to empathize with Heather as a grieving mother when Heather had no qualms about selling her children to the highest bidder.

Heather also blackmailed Naomi Dreyfus for decades when she found out that Jeff’s mistress had given birth to his daughter. Heather knew that because Heather stalked her ex and son for years. Steven wanted nothing to do with Heather, and he always considered Jeff’s second wife — Liz and Sarah’s mother — his mom. It’s revisionist history at its worst to suggest that Heather’s murderous rampages were a result of a faulty hip replacement. It also feels a bit like gaslighting to suggest that what we know to be true about Heather isn’t actually true. Ditto for Cyrus.

The reason that we love our soap supervillains is because they are without conscience or remorse, except when they get caught. We know that whatever plot they hatch, in the end justice will prevail. They serve an important role in the war between good and evil, and often unite viewers in a desire to see their comeuppance. They are entertaining because on a soap opera there really are no limits to the outrageous things that they can do.

When viewers saw Heather pop up on our screens, we knew something wicked was about to happen, and that lives would be upended. Remember when she schlepped Anthony Zachara’s dead body around the woods in a wheelbarrow as she kept running into people, including Sam whose newborn baby she switched with a dead one? There was so much fall out from Heather’s mission of vengeance that it fueled several storylines for over a year. A reformed Heather? No thanks. I’d rather see her go out in a blaze of glory than rocking on her front porch knitting booties for Ace.

I’m really hoping that the writers are setting all of this up for it to blow up in Laura’s face when it’s revealed that Heather was playing her all along. Maybe Esme found a way to reach out to her mother and Heather hopes to reunite with her somewhere in Europe. I don’t really care as long as they return Heather to the dark side where she belongs.

Now, let’s talk about Carly.

Jason should have known better than to start talking to John without making sure that Carly had left. Of course Carly’s going to eavesdrop. She’s nosey and she knows that Jason has been answering to John. But my amusement ended there because Carly had absolutely no business going to Pentonville to talk to Brennan. And she definitely shouldn’t have told him that the FBI was investigating Pikeman. What the heck was she thinking? I can’t even begin to fathom why she thought that was a good idea.

I thought for sure that Carly had really screwed up by tipping Brennan off to the FBI’s investigation, but by Friday I realized that Anna might be able to use it to her advantage because while Brennan and Valentin are taking a closer look at John — and framing Sonny for Jason’s murder — Valentin won’t notice Anna flying under the radar. She’s his blind spot. Still, Carly needs to stay out of it.

I am also getting pretty tired of guys throwing themselves on the sword for Carly because her young daughter needs her mother. Excuse me, but Carly is a grown woman who should take care of her own business. Anna was right, the recording of Carly isn’t exactly evidence of criminal activity and Jason should have called their bluff. I could tell people I’m the Queen of England, but that doesn’t prove that I am.

As Jason said, Carly went to that meeting because she thought it was the only way that she could keep everyone safe, including her children, from dangerous criminals hoping to take over Sonny’s territory. Diane could easily argue that it was a desperate attempt to safeguard her family. Without actual evidence of crimes, the recording is useless. I’m more convinced than ever that John is lying about those RICO charges, but I am curious how he got that recording. Did Selina Wu give it to him? A spy in Sonny’s organization?

I don’t buy Jason’s excuse that he had no choice. He most certainly had a choice, and he chose Carly’s daughter over his own sons. I don’t care how great Elizabeth and Sam are as mothers, Jake and Danny are minors too and both boys needed their father. He has a responsibility to them, and he failed them both. I would never have done that to my children. Shame on Jason, and I really hope Carly calls him out on it. If she doesn’t, Elizabeth and Sam will. Those two boys grieved for him, and even though Jake is angry, we all know it’s masking his hurt.

How could Jason ever think that letting both of his children mourn his death was a better option than Donna possibly — but not likely — having to visit her mother in prison for a few years? Last I checked, Donna also has a loving father, so it’s not like she would be tossed into an orphanage if something should happen to Carly.

Luckily, the same is true for Avery, which is a good thing because Ava is flirting with disaster playing her foolish games. Another pod person who makes no sense. Ava always has an endgame, except here. As best as I can figure, she’s hoping to isolate Sonny so he falls head over heels in love with her, even though she doesn’t love him. Yet.

Now, that Ava knows Sonny’s medication has been tampered with she seems more concerned about how she can work it to benefit her rather than who might have tampered with those meds. Ava is smarter than this precisely because she is an ex-mobster, but she’s acting like someone who has no idea what she’s doing. Know your enemy is essential in that world of organized crime. If Ava had been thinking along those terms, she might have realized that questioning the pharmacist who filled the prescription might not have been the wisest move since that pharmacist might feel inclined to report to the person who requested that change in dosage. The person who wants to see Sonny teetering on mania and making reckless choices.

Instead, Ava is playing games and trying to repair some of the damage her little outburst caused when she threw a fit because she wasn’t welcomed at Brook Lynn and Chase’s wedding. I adore Ava, but I loved it when Sonny angrily reminded her that even though the evidence — a flash drive implicating Ava in Connie Falconeri’s murder — had been destroyed, everyone knew that Ava killed her, including Connie’s family who would be at the wedding because Connie and Olivia were cousins.

Ava has to know that eventually Sonny is going to catch on that something isn’t right with him, especially when he goes in for a checkup with his doctor. It won’t take his doctor long to realize that something is off with Sonny and order a blood test to find out why. The first person that Sonny is going to suspect of tampering with is medication is Ava because of her history, so why would she put herself into that position? Why not just be the hero of the story and let Sonny know that an enemy has gotten to him?

I’m starting to suspect that all of this has been Valentin’s masterplan. That he shot Austin because Austin knew he was part of Pikeman and intended to tell Anna. There’s no love lost between Valentin and Ava, so framing her for Austin’s murder would make sense, especially if it keeps people from sniffing around him. Did he know that sending those veiled threats to Ava would prompt Sonny to move Ava into his penthouse? Possibly. By then, Valentin had made the arrangements to decrease the dosage of the medication. Valentin is a gifted strategists, while Sonny isn’t exactly complicated, so he might have anticipated Sonny’s move to protect Ava.

With Ava living in Sonny’s penthouse, she was the perfect fall guy if anyone should discover the truth about Sonny’s medication. No one would question Ava’s guilt or believe her claims of innocence — except maybe Trina.

Much to my disappointment, Spencer will not be returning any time soon, so it’s time for Trina to move on. I don’t expect a soap character to mourn a lover for an extended period of time, especially someone just striking out on their own. Life moves fast on a soap, especially when you’re young.

I want Trina to move out from Josslyn’s shadow and to spread her wings. It’s great that they are best friends and all, but I want more for Trina than for her to be stuck cheering Josslyn on as Josslyn picks a new direction in life and decides whether she wants to break up with Dex or give him a second chance now that he’s going to be a cop. Trina needs her own storyline and her own direction.

However, both Trina and Josslyn’s options are limited in the romance department, especially with both Cameron and Spencer out of the picture. Dex is pretty much the only game in town at the moment. That’s why I perked up when Blaze and Natalia started talking about Eloi, Blaze’s guitar playing brother who is a gifted musician but wants nothing to do with the industry. Blaze asking why her career is not enough to satisfy Natalia, and the accusation that Natalia would prefer for Eloi to be the headliner suggests a little sibling rivalry at play, which could be interesting.

That brings me to the Kristina/Molly baby drama.

Alexis broached the subject of Kristina’s attachment to the baby. Not surprisingly, Kristina got prickly, and claimed that saying “my baby” was “shorthand” because she didn’t know what else to call the baby. Here are a few suggestions Kristina, “Peanut,” “Nugget,” “Sweetheart,” or — my personal favorite — “My sister’s little miracle.” Loving the baby is not the problem, it’s viewing it as her own that is the issue, and I’m really annoyed that Alexis didn’t at least suggest that Kristina book a few sessions with a therapist to help her sort things out before that attachment grew into something deeper.

Even though Molly popped over to Kristina’s place to smooth things over and assure her sister that T.J. will no longer be micromanaging her life, the writing is on the wall. Kristina is determined to see Molly and T.J. as the villains, and I’m afraid the little spat over breakfast is just a glimpse of what’s to come. Even Diane sees it, which is why she wisely advised Alexis to stay out of it. It’s a no-win situation for Alexis because two of her children will soon be embroiled in an ugly legal battle with each other.

It frustrates me because Kristina forgets that she is not the only person who created that baby. Her egg was used, yes, but that baby is also T.J.’s biological child. Did it ever occur to Kristina that maybe the baby kicked like its father? That it takes after its father? No, of course not because Kristina embarked on this journey for all the wrong reasons and it shows.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

 

Maybe I’m reading into things, but I get the feeling that Finn’s days at the hospital are numbered. A month or so ago, when talking about a friend from his Doctors Without Borders days, Finn mentioned that he missed the work. I know he’s struggling because his father is declining before his eyes, which might be putting a strain on his sobriety, but I sense that something else at play too.

I don’t know why, but I was amused that Anna had moved into Sasha and Brando’s old apartment (previously occupied by Kim and Oscar Nero), but I really hope she plans to do some redecorating because it doesn’t suit her at all. I prefer the elegant English style she favored when she lived in her house.

I really liked the reunion between Lois and John. It pulled at my heartstrings and made me nostalgic when they talked about the changes in Port Charles from their early days running the streets, and how different life had turned out from the one they had each envisioned for themselves all those years ago.

If Blaze is going to the wedding as Kristina’s date, and there will be photographers, won’t they catch on that Blaze and Kristina are a couple? Why isn’t Natalia freaking out over that?

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